Family Traditions - Why Should We Keep Them?

I am thankful for...family traditions

The holidays are some of the best times and opportunities we have to continue our family traditions.  Many of us can recall how our families celebrated Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, or birthdays every year.  There are some extra special traditions we may remember.  Maybe every Christmas we got together with our grandparents or we went out of town to visit friends or family members.  Maybe there was a certain dish we especially enjoyed that was prepared specifically for Thanksgiving day.

Traditions can hold very special meaning and memories for us. I remember learning about their importance to our emotional health and well-being back in my first semester of grad school.  Traditions contribute to our overall sense of connectedness, family, continuity, and identity.  They give us something that is socially, emotionally, and spiritually meaningful to carry on.  As I reflected upon this recently, I thought about my own family traditions.  One that came to mind was the New Year's blessing.  Every New Year's Eve, as far back as I can recall, my mother would make a traditional Macedonian dish (cora, aka burek).  Before baking it, she would hide a wrapped coin inside of it.  When our family gathered around to enjoy this delicious dish, we would cut it into pieces like a pie.  The big round pan would then be spun 3 times.  The piece directly in front of each person would be the one designated to him or her. The remaining pieces would be designated to other important people or work in our lives.  We would then enjoy the burek with homemade yogurt and eventually the coin would be found.  The fortunate person would then be named as the recipient of the coming year's extra special blessings of abundant prosperity.  I always look forward to this fun tradition.  We still continue the tradition every year with our children.  They also enjoy it and look forward to this tradtion.  It's especially fun seeing who will get the special blessing. 

I am thankful for family traditions and I especially like those that continue on to the next generation.  We don't keep all of them, but we do remember the meaning they had and how they enriched our lives.  This year we will continue with our New Year's blessing tradition as well as singing and playing Christmas carols, gathering together, and having a wonderful feast of fun and family time!

May you enjoy some of your family traditions this year and remember to give many thanks for them.

Have a very Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year!!

May your New Year be filled with many blessings, new beginnings, good health, prosperity, peace, true joy and God's unending love!


P.S.  Let us remember our military and all those who will not be spending the holidays with their families and keep them in our thoughts and prayers.  May God bless them and keep them safe.  May He be gracious to them and give them peace. 

P.S.S.  I absolutely love the classic musical:  Fiddler on the Roof.  In it, Tevye (Topol), a poor milkman with 5 daughters, talks about tradition. He says, "Without traditions our lives would be shaky as a fiddler on the roof."    To hear the fun song from the movie, click here

Tradition does not mean that the living are dead, it means that the dead are living. ~Harold Macmillan



Tradition simply means that we need to end what began well and continue what is worth continuing ~ Jose Bergamin

Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes -- our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who merely happen to be walking around. ~Gilbert Keith Chesterton

The merry family gatherings
The old, the very young;
The strangely lovely way they
Harmonize in carols sung.
For Christmas is tradition time
Traditions that recall
The precious memories down the years,
The sameness of them all.
~Helen Lowrie Marshall




Copyright © 2010 Krystal Kuehn, New Day Counseling. All Rights Reserved.


Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family couples counseling, children counseling and teenage counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration to change your life, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy! Check out Krystal's other blogs: Be Your Best blog, Baby Poems blog and Words of Inspiration blog!


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Give Thanks at All Times - Good & Bad

It is really easy to be thankful when things are going well.  But how do we stay thankful when they are not?   It may be difficult, but practicing gratitude at all times is one of the best ways to make it through setbacks and disappointments.  It keeps us hopeful and reminds us that we made it through hard times before.  It helps us to see that life is still good. Circumstances may be negative, but they can change.  People may hurt us, but we can heal.  Losses may never be recovered, but we can gain something new.  The more we practice gratitude for what is good, right, beautiful and hopeful, the more real it becomes to us.  So whether we are going through some bad times or the best of times, it is always appropriate and empowering to be thankful.

Following is a poem that helps remind us why we can be thankful at all times.   

Be Thankful

Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful in the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be thankful when you have limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary
Because it means you’ve made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful during the setbacks.

Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful in the midst of your troubles
and they can become your blessings.

~ Author unknown. 

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity... It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow. ~Melody Beattie

If you concentrate on finding whatever is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul. ~Rabbi Harold Kushner

A thankful person is thankful under all circumstances. A complaining soul complains even if he lives in paradise. ~Baha’u’llah

He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has. ~Epictetus


Find the good and praise it. ~Alex Haley


Give thanks for a little and you will find a lot. ~Hausa of Nigeria


If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness. It will change your life mightily. ~Gerald Good


Copyright © 2010 Krystal Kuehn, New Day Counseling. All Rights Reserved.


Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family couples counseling, children therapy and teenage counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration to change your life, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy! Check out Krystal's other blogs: Be Your Best blog, Baby Poems blog and Words of Inspiration blog!



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Give Thanks for Simple Acts of Kindness

I am thankful... for simple acts of kindness

Did you ever go shopping and get a survey request with your receipt?  Most people don't take the time to give their input unless it's especially positive or negative.  Well, I had one of those especially positive experiences yesterday.  I was shopping for some kitchenware and was so impressed and thankful with the help I received from one of the employees.  He went over and above to be helpful and even gave me some good tips.  Did you know that you can take off those stickers glued on your purchases that won't peel off by simply using a blow dryer.  I never knew this.  I thought goo gone was my most viable option.  Anyways, this employee gave me that tip and it worked.  When I peeled the stickers off so effortlessly, I couldn't help but think of Ivan.  I was thankful for people like him.  Then I thought about how the simplest little things can leave an impression on us and improve our lives in some way.  I also thought about Ivan's kindness and warmth that was not only evident in his service, but also in his loving and joyful personality.

Simple acts of kindness keep people in our hearts and memories.  It's almost like they keep us connected to them in a loving and positive way.  Did you ever come across someone whom you have long forgotten and they tell you they still remember the words you said to them long ago that really helped them, or the gift you gave that they really appreciated, or what you did for them that was so helpful?  I don't think we even know how much we touch other people's lives and bless them.  Simply being kind, helpful, loving, encouraging, and thankful has lasting impact!  I am so thankful for beautiful people who come across my path.  I am thankful that I can be the recipient of other people's kindness and love.  I am thankful that every day I have the opportunity to express my gratitude and appreciation to others and bless their day.  I am thankful that I can make a difference by the smallest acts of kindness.  I am thankful that kindness and love bring us together and fill us with lasting gratitude and appreciation.

Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings. ~William Arthur Ward



Can you see the holiness in those things you take for granted–a paved road or a washing machine? If you concentrate on finding what is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul. ~ Rabbi Harold Kushner

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. ~Albert Schweitzer


There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. ~Albert Einstein








Copyright © 2010 Krystal Kuehn, New Day Counseling. All Rights Reserved.


Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family couples counseling, children therapy and teen counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration to change your life, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy! Check out Krystal's other blogs: Be Your Best blog, Baby Poems blog and Words of Inspiration blog!

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Give Thanks for Autumn

I am thankful... for autumn

Autumn is a beautiful season.  As much as I enjoyed riding my bike through trails all summer long, I found nothing quite as beautiful as going through the same trails during autumn.  Seeing the leaves change colors, breathing the fresh cool air, and hearing the crunch and rustle of leaves beneath my feet with every step I took was truly invigorating.  Autumn is like no other season in its magnificent beauty, its mosaic of tone, color, rhythym and harmony. It is a truly magical and musical experience!  I am thankful for autumn.  I am thankful that it offers so much for me to appreciate and enjoy.  I am thankful that it is a time to reflect, keep warm and remember that life is full of riches, wonder, and spendor!


There is music in the meadows, in the air --
Autumn is here;
Skies are gray, but hearts are mellow,
Leaves are crimson, brown, and yellow;
Pines are soughing, birches stir,
And the Gipsy trail is fresh beneath the fir.
There is rhythm in the woods, and in the fields,
Nature yields:
And the harvest voices crying,
Blend with Autumn zephyrs sighing;
Tone and color, frost and fire,
Wings the nocturne Nature plays upon her lyre.
~ William Stanley Braithwaite, Lyric of Autumn


When the trees their summer splendor
Change to raiment red and gold,
When the summer moon turns mellow,
And the nights are getting cold;
When the squirrels hide their acorns,
And the woodchucks disappear;
Then we know that it is autumn,
Loveliest season of the year.
~ Carol L. Riser, Autumn

I am rich today with autumn's gold,
All that my covetous hands can hold;
Frost-painted leaves and goldenrod,
A goldfinch on a milkweed pod,
Huge golden pumpkins in the field
With heaps of corn from a bounteous yield,
Golden apples heavy on the trees
Rivaling those of Hesperides,
Golden rays of balmy sunshine spread
Over all like butter on warm bread;
And the harvest moon will this night unfold
The streams running full of molten gold.
Oh, who could find a dearth of bliss
With autumn glory such as this!
~ Gladys Harp

Autumn is a second spring where every leaf is a flower. ~Albert Camus

Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting and autumn a mosaic of them all. ~Stanley Horowitz

Autumn asks that we prepare for the future —that we be wise in the ways of garnering and keeping. But it also asks that we learn to let go—to acknowledge the beauty of sparseness. ~Bonaro W. Overstreet

Fallen leaves lying on the grass in the November sun bring more happiness than the daffodils. ~Cyril Connolly




Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family couples counseling, children counseling and teen counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration to change your life, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy! Check out Krystal's other blogs: Be Your Best, Baby Poems blog and Words of Inspiration blog!



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Give Thanks for the Artist Within Each of Us

I am thankful...for the artist within each of us

Now that fall has arrived, I have been winding down a little and making time to watch some movies.  A friend once recommended Walk the Line, based on the true life story of Johnny Cash, so that is what I decided to watch and I am so glad I did.  I thought it was an excellent movie--very sad and touching, yet inspiring and moving.  The pain and rejection that Johnny experienced early in his life almost destroyed him.  In his music, the artist within was able to express himself, release some of his pain, anger, hope and faith.  Ultimately, it was love that saved him and changed his life forever. 

Don't we all have an artist within us?  I love these beautiful words I recently came across:  He who works with his hands is a laborer. He who works with his hands and his head is a craftsman. He who works with his hands, his head and his heart is an artist. It reminded me of the part in the movie when the record producer told Johnny that he heard the remake of the gospel tune Johnny was playing for him tons of times.  Instead, he wanted Johnny to play something original.  He wanted to hear the artist within--something that expressed Johnny's very heart and soul.  The artist within emerged.  It was a hit.  It was authentic, moving, beautiful!

Within each of us is an artist.  Whatever we put our heart into is an expression of who we really are.  I remember observing the contractor who was laying tile down in our kitchen.  He did an amazing custom job, very precise, professional and creative.  I thought about what an outstanding craftsman he was.  Then one day he shared how much he loved his work and put his whole heart into it.  I then thought about how he came in every day whistling and singing as he worked.  He truly loved what he was doing.  His work was his art.  It was the true expression of the artist within him.

We don't have to be a Michelangelo or Mozart to be an artist.  All we have to be is our true selves and let it show in what we do.  We can put our hands, head and heart to work and let the artist within us emerge.  Remember, when it comes to true art, there is no right or wrong, good or bad, it's about being real, creative, imaginative and expressive.  I give thanks for the artist within each of us and I encourage you to let that artist out.  There is so much within you to express, share and give.  People love the real you, so let the artist within you emerge freely!
  
Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. ~Judy Garland

You don’t get harmony when everyone sings the same note. ~Doug Floyd
A man that has a taste of music, painting, or architecture is like one that has another sense. ~Joseph Addison


Copyright © 2010 Krystal Kuehn. All Rights Reserved.

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Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family couples counseling, children counseling and teen counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration to change your life, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy! Check out Krystal's other blogs: Be Your Best, Baby Poems blog and Words of Inspiration blog!




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Give Thanks for a New Day

I am thankful... for a New Day
Take a moment and think about how you began your new day. When you woke up this morning, what was the first thing that you began to think about? How did you feel about today?

From the start of our day, we unconsciously decide what kind of day we are going to have by how we think and feel about it. The attitude toward which we approach our coming hours, ours plans, goals and responsibilities determines what kind of day we are going to have.

If we are thankful to be alive, we will appreciate today. If we look forward to the day with anticipation, we will be excited about today. If we expect our day to be filled with problems, we will approach today with dread.

Today we woke up to new mercies, new challenges and problems, new hopes, new joys, and new reasons to be thankful. What we choose to focus on is up to us. There is a old proverb that says, As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. If you think you are blessed, you are. If you think you are defeated, you are. If you see obstacles as mountains that cannot be moved, you will not try to remove them. If you see obstacles as stumbling stones that can be overcome, you will overcome them. Think like a winner and you will be a winner!

Choosing gratitude, happiness, optimism, and hope is a daily decision. The choices we make determine what kind of day we are going to have as well as our destiny. It is a life principle--what we believe and act upon brings results in our lives. Those who develop their faith and belief in themselves and God have the power to live each day fully, successfully, and with true joy. How do we develop a strong and positive faith? Like all good things in life, it takes practice. Practice focusing on the solution instead of the problem and you will conquer it. Practice starting each day with thanks and good things will come your way. Practice looking for the best in everyone and you will find it. Practice seeing yourself as a winner and you will walk in confidence and accomplish great things. The power of faith is available to all of us. But, some of us put our faith in fear, defeat, or failure. Faith works either way--for good or for bad. Let your faith work wonders in your life. Start each new day believing for a good day and you will have it!

When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love. ~Marcus Aurelius


Today let's concentrate on being happy. Live life like a child! If you capture the spirit of a child, life becomes much easier. Never let life pressures bring you down! This is the day the Lord has made--we will rejoice and be glad in it! ~Rev Run

 
Inspirational Way to Start Each New Day
Copyright © 2008, 2010 Krystal Kuehn, New Day Counseling Center. All Rights Reserved.



Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family marriage counseling and children counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration to change your life, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy! Check out Krystal's other blogs: Words of Inspiration, Baby Poems & Be Your Best blog.


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Gratitude - The Antidote for Toxic Emotions

You cannot be grateful and bitter.
You cannot be grateful and unhappy.
You cannot be grateful and without hope.
You cannot be grateful and unloving.
So just be grateful.
        ~author unknown

Are you experiencing some toxic emotions like anger, bitterness, irritability, hopelessness or depression? When negative emotions occupy much of our attention and drain our energy, they have become toxic. Something that is toxic is like poison; it causes harm and serious debilitation. Isn't that what anger and bitterness do? Like poison, they impair and destroy our ability to function at our best. They keep us chained to unforgiveness and self-destruction. How about hopelessness? Its toxicity saps our strength and makes us weak. Irritability is another toxin that steals our peace and harms our relationships.

When we experience toxic levels of negative emotions, we need to detox. That is, we need to counteract and remove their destructive effects. We may need to release some anger, process some hurt, change our perspective, recall our past victories, take some time away, or talk to someone who can help us. These are healthy coping methods that can all be very helpful in dealing with toxic emotions. However, what is especially helpful and probably the best antidote for toxic emotions is practicing gratitude. One of the best ways to do this is to get our minds off the problem and change our focus. Instead of thinking about how angry we are about what went wrong, we can give thanks for what went right or for what additional sorrows we escaped. Instead of focusing on the hopelessness of a situation and what we cannot change, we can give thanks for what we can change and the control we have over our thoughts and actions. We can be thankful that we have options and can choose to respond in a healthy manner.

Gratitude and toxic emotions cannot coexist. The next time you experience toxic emotions, counteract them with gratitude before they poison your mind, body and relationships. Toxic emotions may not always be completely eradicated from our lives, but their destructive effects can be!


In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy. ~Brother David Steindl-Rast


Copyright © 2010 BeHappy4Life.com All Rights Reserved.

written by Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC
New Day Counseling Center


Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family couples counseling and child teen counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration to change your life, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy! Krystal is also author of several other blogs: Be Your Best, Baby Poems blog and Words of Inspiration blog!



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Gratitude: How It Opens Hearts & Fills Them with Joy

Happiness is itself a kind of gratitude. ~ Joseph Wood Krutch

When I first came across this quote, I had to stop and think about it. Why would happiness be a kind of gratitude? According to Webster's Dictionary, to be grateful or thankful is to be conscious of a benefit being received and to be well pleased.

So does that mean when we are happy, we are receiving something that is to our benefit, something good? I think the key word here is "receive." When we receive something, we welcome it into our life.  We take hold of it and experience it.  Life is good. Simple blessings are all around us. Once we receive them with thanksgiving and appreciation, we experience true joy. That is why true happiness cannot exist without gratitude. Gratitude opens our hearts to receive the good things in life with joy.
When we do not receive a new day as a gift and blessing, but rather dread it and complain, we are not receiving the benefit and joy it can bring us. When we do not receive love and kindness offered to us, or help and opportunity made available to us, we do not benefit from them, and we do not experience the joy and gratitude they can bring us.

So, is being happy, in a way, also being grateful? I would agree that it is. However, I don’t think we necessarily have to be conscious of all our blessings and benefits in order to be grateful and happy. Ever wake up singing for no particular reason? Life is good and there are so many reasons to have a thankful heart. Simple pleasures and blessings fill our days and the opportunity to enjoy them is always there.

Where there is gratitude, there is true happiness.  Gratitude opens our hearts to receive the good things in life with joy. ~Krystal

Copyright © 2010 BeHappy4Life.com
written by Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC
New Day Counseling Center


Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family couples counseling and child teen counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration to change your life, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy! Krystal also has several blogs: Be Your Best blog, Baby Poems blog and Words of Inspiration blog!



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Give Thanks for Work Opportunities

I am thankful.... that there is always work to do

Work keeps our minds occupied. It forces us to set and meet goals that lead to a sense of accomplishment. It encourages us to put our skills and talents to use. Work helps us to develop confidence in what we can do and how we can contribute. It connects us to other people. It is an essential part of our lives and a human need.

So how about those who have lost their jobs and cannot find work? Or, how about those with a disability or illness that leaves them unable to join the workforce? Are they resigned to feel idle, useless, or bored? Absolutely not! So long as we are alive, there is work for us to do. Getting paid for a job is not the only thing that constitutes real work. Work is any assignment, duty, or undertaking. It is anything that keeps us busy using our energy in positive ways. It includes simple things like giving someone a ride to the store, mowing the lawn, researching an idea, praying for a need, helping a neighbor, tucking children into bed, cleaning the house, preparing dinner, calling a lonely friend. All of these activities require some effort and skill. They all contribute to making life better or easier for someone. And they all require a willingness to give and to do what we are able.

Every morning presents us with new work opportunities for the day. There may be things we will enjoy and look forward to and others that we will dislike and even dread. But there is always something for us to do. If we are already busy and occupied with plenty to do, it would be wise for us to prioritize our time and make the best use of it. However, if we have more time on our hands than we know what to do with, we ought to invest our time in some short and long term goals that are important to us.

Time spent can never be retrieved. Once it is gone, it is gone forever. All that is left are memories and the consequences of the choices we have made. Let us not waste time. Wasting time is like letting life pass us by. It is letting dreams die and relationships fade. It is missing our potential and settling for less than we were meant to be. May we choose to appreciate our days and use our time with wisdom and purpose today and always.


Teach us to number our days and recognize how few they are; help us to spend them as we should.

~Psalm 90:12

Thank God every morning when you get up that you have something which must be done, whether you like it or not. Work breeds a hundred virtues that idleness never knows. ~Charles Kingsley

Employed for Life & Never Out of Work
Copyright © 2009 BeHappy4Life.com,
written by Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC
New Day Counseling Center


Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family marriage counseling and child teen counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration to change your life, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy! Krystal also has several blogs: Be Your Best blog, Baby Poems blog and Words of Inspiration blog!


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Gratitude: More than Words

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. - John F. Kennedy

How trustworthy are our words if there is no action behind them? We can tell our kids not to smoke, but if they see us smoking, can we realistically expect them to listen? We can say we care about our health, but do our eating habits support that claim? The old adage rings true: Actions speak louder than words.

It is not just the words we say that reveal the condition of our hearts. People watch what we do more than what we say. Our actions are the best indicators of who we really are. Actions can speak so loud that we may not even need words at all at times. If you see a man treating his wife with love and respect, speaking well of her, supporting and acknowledging her, you don't need him or anyone to tell you that he loves her. If you know someone who gives of their time and resources to help people in need, you do not need to be told that he or she cares or that he or she is a giving person. Observing the actions of others lead us to come to our own conclusions.

When our hearts are truly thankful, it will come out of our mouths and be evident in our words. With a thankful heart we will not find fault, but rather, we will find something to praise. We will not complain, but instead, we will rejoice. With a thankful heart, we will not focus on what is lacking, we will be filled with all that is good. We will not be resentful because we feel cheated; we will cherish and acknowledge the many ways in which we are blessed. The way we live, our attitude, and our perspective is communicating something to someone at all times.

We can be assured that our gratitude and appreciation is being heard when our life becomes a song of praise--realizing our many blessings are undeserved, our life is a gift, the love we share with others is priceless, and the beauty and wonder we see and experience in creation is a privilege.

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.  ~William James

What people say, what people do, and what they say they do are entirely different things.

~Margaret Mead

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.  ~Theodore Roosevelt

Copyright 2009 All Rights Reserved. Written by Krystal Kuehn, co-founder of BeHappy4Life.com and New Day Counseling Center


Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family couples counseling and child teen counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration to change your life, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy! Krystal also has several blogs: Be Your Best blog, Baby Poems blog and Words of Inspiration blog!

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Give Thanks for Changing Seasons & Routines

I am thankful.... for changing seasons & routines

Longer days, kids out of school, and ample opportunities to enjoy the outdoors makes summer not only fun, but a departure from our regular routines. Many of us like to stay up late and sleep in if we can. It is not easy coming in for the day and getting ready for bed when the sun is still shining, and you hear kids playing outside and people mowing their lawns.

Our routines often change in the summer. For many, it is a time of less structure and more flexibility. This summer I made a new routine to bike ride in the early morning or later in the evening. I also changed the time I go to bed to very late at night. My family has no set meal times, and I don't cook as consistently as I usually would during other seasons.

I have enjoyed this new, flexible schedule all summer long. I know that it will soon have to change and become much more structured as the new season begins. It will take some time to adjust, but it is something that I am looking forward to as well.

Routines help us to organize and manage our time. School begins and ends at the same predictable time every day. This helps students plan their days and schedule time for homework, extracurricular activities, and socializing. Adults with busy jobs have to organize their time around their work and family responsibilities. A consistent routine can help them to prioritize and make better plans to use their time wisely and most efficiently.

Having routine in our lives is healthy. It keeps us on task. It helps us to anticipate and look forward to things to come. It gives us some sense of predictabilty and control.  Routines are shaped by our priorities, responsibilities, work, school, the seasons...  We can always change them as necessary. We can also add new routines to our lives as we develop new goals and habits or encounter new or unexpected situations. I am thankful that we can have a good and healthy balance of structure and flexibility. I am thankful that changing seasons and routines can help us to organize our time and priorities. I am thankful that they can give us a sense of stability, predictability and security. And I am thankful that the changing seasons and routines help us to prepare for and anticipate good things to come!

To be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring. ~George Santayana

People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy. ~Anton Chekhov

They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom. ~Confucius

 
Copyright 2010 All Rights Reserved. Written by Krystal Kuehn. New Day Counseling Center


Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family couples counseling and child teen counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration to change your life, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy! Krystal also has several blogs: Be Your Best blog, Baby Poems blog and Words of Inspiration blog!


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Give Thanks that Life is Good

I am thankful that...life is good

One of the simplest and greatest insights I have ever learned is that a heart of gratitude is essential to true happiness. I have always believed that love is the foundation to a truly blessed life and I still do. However, we can be loved unconditionally and even learn to love ourselves and others without practicing gratitude.

There is a difference between knowing that someone loves us and being grateful that he or she accepts us just the way we are. Knowing we are loved, we might take it for granted or even reject that love. However, if we are thankful that we are loved and accepted unconditionally, we are more likely to receive that love with joy and appreciation. Gratitude causes us to cherish and value something. This, in turn, brings us joy. There is a difference between loving someone’s sense of humor and being thankful for the times of laughter we enjoy with him or her. There is also a difference between loving our innate strengths and talents and being thankful that we can use them to help and bless others.

Gratitude helps us to put love into action. It helps us to experience love and to live it out. For example, I love my Godmother and really enjoy spending time with her. Just recently, we had a wonderful time together celebrating my birthday. She made it so special. I truly felt loved, but more than that, I was so grateful for everything she did to make it memorable. Love made me feel good and gratitude brought me joy. I notice that the more I reflect on the reasons I am thankful, the more appreciation and joy I experience.

A very effective way to increase our daily experience of gratitude and joy is to make it a habit to list at least three things we are thankful for at the end of each day.  I remember when I first started doing this years ago.  I was surprised by how many little things were real blessings to my day.  I typically would not have thought much of them and probably would have taken them for granted.  And I am talking about simple things like being thankful for having good weather so I could ride my bike, watching a funny movie with my family, discussing the day's events with my husband, running into an old friend, getting a big hug from my son, hearing a new song I like, and so on.

The more I disciplined myself to take notice of the good things in life, the more I began to recognize just how much there is to be thankful for.  Napeoleon Hill said, "Your big opportunity may be right where you are now."  Our greatest opportunity right now is to appreciate life, know that it is good, and enjoy it.  We seize that opportunity every time we reflect on our blessings and give thanks!

Copyright 2010 All Rights Reserved. Written by Krystal Kuehn. New Day Counseling Center

* * *

What you focus on expands, and when you focus on the goodness in your life, you create more of it. Opportunities, relationships, even money flowed my way when I learned to be grateful no matter what happened in my life. ~Oprah Winfrey

* * *

Joy is a heart full and a mind purified by gratitude. ~Marietta McCarty

* * *

Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy -- because we will always want to have something else or something more. ~ David Steindl-Rast

* * *

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude. ~- Denis Waitley

Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family couples counseling and child teen counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration to change your life, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy! Check out Krystal's new Be Your Best blog and Words of Inspiration blog!


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Give Thanks that One Person Can Make a Difference

I am thankful that.... one person can make a difference

The other day we had the opportunity to vote in the primary elections.  I was talking to someone about it and he told me that he didn't want to waste his time. He said it was because he believed his vote wouldn't make a difference anyway.  Can you imagine if we all felt this way?  Every one of us has a voice to be heard and every one of us counts.  The attitude that our efforts are unimportant and worthless can transcend into the many other areas of our lives.  It will keep us from speaking up because we think no one will listen.  It will keep us from giving, because we think it won't ever be enough anyway.  It will keep us from believing, because we won't stretch our faith, try to accomplish great things, or hope for miracles.

This man's comments made me think about all the people who believed that they could make a difference even if they were the only one to take the steps of faith necessary to accomplish their goals and dreams.  I thought about Martin Luther King, Jr. and Mother Theresa, and the countless others we may never know by name.  We enjoy their contributions today and are blessed by the fruit of their fortitude.  There are nonprofit foundations that are changing lives every single day that began with just one person willing to believe, make sacrifices and take action. 

I understand not everyone is called to be a pioneer, world changer, or entreprenuer.  But that doesn't exempt any one of us from doing our part to make a difference right here, right now.  I recall what a professional counselor once said:  It takes just one caring person to make a difference in the life of a hurting child.  I never forgot her words.  They are so true.  If we ever think for a minute that we have nothing to offer that can make a positive difference in this world, we ought to think again.  Our words, time, kindness, love, service, sharing, wise counsel, understanding, hugs can all make a positive difference in someone's life.  I am so thankful that we don't have to wait around for someone else to change the world.  We can all do our small part today and make this world a better place.


Copyright 2010 All Rights Reserved. Written by Krystal Kuehn. New Day Counseling Center



Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family couples counseling and children therapy center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy! Check out Krystal's new Be Your Best blog and Words of Inspiration blog!


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Give Thanks for God's grace

I am thankful for...God's grace

We always have something to be thankful for!  I love this quote:  If you can't be thankful for what you receive, be thankful for what you escape. ~unknown 

Just yesterday as I was driving through a construction zone, I almost got rear ended when I stopped at a light.  The person behind must not have seen the light change.  When the driver suddenly realized I was stopped for the red light, he slammed on his brakes and started turning his wheel into the construction zone to avoid hitting me. Thankfully, I saw this in my rear view mirror so I let up on the brake and tried to give him more room to stop without moving into oncoming traffic.  That was close! I was so thankful that an accident was averted and I could go along my way without any problems, delays, or injury.  I believe there are many times we escape problems or accidents without even knowing it.  It is good for us to remember to not only be thankful for all our blessings and for the good things in life, but we can also be thankful for what we escape!  We can be thankful for God's grace!



Copyright 2010 All Rights Reserved. Written by Krystal Kuehn. New Day Counseling Center



Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a marriage family counseling and children therapy center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & words of inspiration, and Baby-Poems.com where you can find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes, cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy! Check out Krystal's new Be Your Best blog and Words of Inspiration blog!

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Give Thanks for the Opportunity to Serve

I am thankful for... the Opportunity to Serve Others

To serve others demands selflessness and sacrifice. So how can it be something to be thankful for? Do we really want to put the needs of others before our own? In most cases, we honestly do not. We may even become agitated when our goals are blocked or when we have to change our plans to accommodate someone else’s need. This has happened to all of us. We give our time, attention, resources, whatever is needed of us, and we are not too happy about it. What I learned recently is that this is not only a sacrifice, but it is an opportunity to serve. After reading a story about a man who spent much of his life serving, I pondered on his life and his words. He said that his purpose for living was to serve. Serving people was his privilege and calling. It filled his life with purpose and meaning. Being a very spiritually-minded man, he had his mind and heart set on things above, things eternal. His treasure was in heaven and he found no greater joy. The more I thought about this, the more convicted I became. I am thankful to have come across this man’s testimony. It caused me to reflect and repent. What became so much more important to me than serving? Why was it difficult for me to accept my present station in life? Maybe it is because my focus became self-centered causing me to temporarily forget what really matters and the joy in giving and serving from the heart. I believe there is no greater purpose in living than to serve others and our God. It only becomes a dreaded chore or burden when we do it grudgingly. It is my prayer that I serve with a willing, obedient, and cheerful heart that is full of gratitude. It is then that I truly fulfill my purpose and calling. I am very thankful for the many opportunities I am given every day to serve my God and others.

Happiness... consists in giving and in serving others. ~Henry Drummond

It is the love that we give and the service we render that really is the great payoff. ~David B. Haight

c 2010 Krystal Kuehn, BeHappy4Life.com, NewDayCounseling.org

Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family and couples counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & inspiration, and Baby-Poems.com, where you will find beautiful baby poems, baby quotes & cute sayings & baby videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy!

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Give Thanks for Great Dads

I am thankful for...Great Dads

When I was thinking about what a great dad means to me, some thoughts that came to my mind were: a strong leader, caring, unconditionally loving, protector and provider. I suppose how we define a great father depends largely upon our own experience. I am thankful to have had a father who did the best he knew to do in raising us. He never had a chance to know his own father who had passed away when he was around 2 years old. So he didn't have any real role model to learn from and follow. He did his best and for that I am thankful.

Sigmund Freud said, "I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection." I believe this to be true. There is something about a Godly father that makes us feel safe and secure. This is what we want and need in a world filled with violence and suffering. A great dad helps us to know that we are loved and protected.

Great dads also love our moms. I really appreciate this quote: "The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother," ~ Henry Ward Beecher. In doing so, children feel more secure and safe. A great father knows the importance of having a harmonious, loving relationship with his wife and the mother of his children. Parents getting along and loving each other is one of the healthiest things children can witness and experience. It makes their world and home a stable and happy place. It also models good and healthy relationships to them and prepares them for thier own intimate relationships and parenting.

I believe I learned what a really great father is from my husband. He is an amazing father. He emcompasses everything I mentioned earlier in describing a great and Godly father: strong leader, caring, unconditionally loving, protector and provider as well as a loving husband.

We may not all have a great dad, and many don't. However, we can appreciate the qualities of a Godly father in others. It doesn't have to be our own dad. I am so thankful for men who love their wives, who care for their children, who care deeply and love unconditionally, who are strong in their faith and walk in integrity, who love the Lord and are good leaders and role models, who walk in humility, gratitude, and wisdom. For this I am very thankful.

My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland


I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter


It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. ~ Anne Sexton




Copyright 2010 All Rights Reserved. Written by Krystal Kuehn. NewDayCounseling.org and BeHappy4Life.com


Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a marriage family counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & inspiration, and Baby-Poems.com, where you will find beautiful baby poems, quotes & videos that will touch your heart & increase your joy & gratitude for the children you love & enjoy!

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Give Thanks that Our Words Can Encourage & Motivate Others

I am thankful that my words can encourage and motivate others

It is amazing how a simple compliment and words of appreciation have the power to encourage and brighten someone’s day. When I was a kid, I recall a magnet on the refrigerator. It said, “Give someone’s day a little lift, give a kind word as a gift.” Even a simple “thank you” or “you look nice today” can be encouraging and remind us that we are appreciated.

The other day, I thanked one of my son’s teachers for the positive impact she was having on his learning. He enjoys her class and was so inspired by a movie she showed the students that he purchased the DVD. When I told her this, she was very surprised. She said she often wondered if her students were getting anything from her class. Learning that she is having an impact made her so happy. She smiled as she repeatedly thanked me for letting her know. I was so glad I did.

Too often we have an opportunity to say something kind or encouraging, but we keep it to ourselves. If we only knew how much of a positive impact our compliments and words of appreciation can have, I am sure we would share them more often. Every time I get positive feedback or am told of how something I wrote or did helped someone, I am encouraged. It brightens my day. I don’t think we can ever feel too appreciated. I am so thankful that every day I have a chance to show kindness and appreciation to others. My words can encourage and motivate others. I am thankful that I can use them to really make a difference!

Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family marriage counseling & child counseling center, BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights and inspiration, and the soon-to-be launched Baby-Poems.com, a celebration of children with baby poems, baby quotes, articles and more.

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Give Thanks for Restful Sleep

I am thankful for.... restful sleep

Waking up refreshed and alert after a sound night of sleep is a great way to start a new day. We feel energized and ready to face new opportunities and challenges. It feels good to know we can be our best because we are more focused, calm and productive. I truly appreciate the gift of rejuvenating sleep. There was a time when I struggled with sleep problems. I wasn't getting enough of the quality sleep that affects every area of our lives (health, productivity, relationships, safety, and work). As a result, I could not be as productive as I wanted to be, and I was tired throughout the day.

For years I tried everything I could think of to get better sleep. I tried many psychological techniques as well as any other tips that sounded like they might help. They did help to a point, but there was still an underlying problem. It wasn’t until I learned that I had a magnesium and vitamin D deficiency, that the sleep problem was resolved. Supplementation was what I needed and it has worked for me ever since. I am grateful for this insight. I am also grateful for the many tips I have learned on my quest to getting better sleep. The one I find to be most helpful is to relax the body and mind by slowing down physically and mentally. Deep breathing works well for the body.  For the mind, I have to stop working mentally. If necessary, I write down what I want to remember for later and let go for the time being. The goal is to have a peaceful state of mind, free of worries, cares or unresolved anger. Another tip that I find extremely helpful is to think about at least 3 reasons to be thankful for this day. It focuses my mind on what is good and it reminds me that I am blessed in many ways that are so easy to overlook or simply take for granted. I value good physical and mental health. And I appreciate the amazing ways the body and mind work together. Restful sleep isn't just a necessity. It is good for our overall health and well-being. I am so thankful for the refreshing that comes from a great night of sleep that prepares me to enjoy and appreciate a new day!

Copyright 2010 All Rights Reserved. Written by Krystal Kuehn. NewDayCounseling.org and BeHappy4Life.com

Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a family marriage counseling & child counseling center and BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights inspiration.


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Give Thanks for Good Advice

I am thankful for... good advice

There are times when we do not know what to do. There are choices we have to make and we are not sure what is best. At times like these, it helps to hear another perspective, another point of view. Sometimes we have the opportunity to turn to someone who truly cares and has our best interest at heart. He or she may have words of wisdom to guide and direct us and words of encouragement to strengthen us. It never ceases to amaze me how one word, one truth, one principle received and acted upon can change a life forever! I have seen the course of people’s lives positively redirected by a simple truth that lighted their path and led them in a new direction.

I recall having to make an important decision that would determine the direction of my future. I faced two distinctly different paths, and I had to choose one. For weeks I struggled at the crossroads until I felt completely exhausted and confused. Then I recalled a question my friend asked me. She asked me which path would cause me to be more connected to others and allow me to serve them with my gifts. As I reflected on that question, I knew which path I had to take. It meant I had to give up something I wanted. It was very difficult at first. There were even times when I thought I made a mistake. I had to remind myself of the commitment I made and put in writing. It helped me, and today I am so grateful that I stuck with it and followed the wise counsel of my friend. Today I know I made the right decision and I am so thankful.

Whether it is a future marriage partner or a career path, we may come to a crossroads and not know which way to go. Should we marry this person? Is this who we want to spend the rest of our lives with? What career do we want to pursue? Can we see ourselves doing this 10 or 20 years from now? Is this how we want to invest our time and talents? These are important decisions and although we have to ultimately make them on our own, it is a good idea to consider the wise counsel and good advice of a caring, loving person whether it is a close friend, family member, or a professional. It can help lead us on the best course for our lives for which we will be forever grateful!

Copyright 2010 All Rights Reserved. Written by Krystal Kuehn. NewDayCounseling.org and BeHappy4Life.com



Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a psychotherapist, author, teacher & musician. She is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a marriage family counseling and child therapy center and BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning, self-help and inspirational site where you can find hundreds of free resources, insights & inspiration.


<< Go Back to Krystal's Give Thanks Journal Home